rose! — Guy Walton has christened two previous heatwaves...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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CHEERS TO GUY WALTON FOR “OUTING” THE FOSSIL FUEL COMPANIES

From the article:  

Walton has devised his own criteria for named heatwaves in the US, based on duration and extremity, on a one to five scale similar to hurricanes. Heatwave Chevron is classed as a four and is “historic”, Walton said. The meteorologist said he has a list of 20 oil and gas companies – including Exxon and Shell – for upcoming heatwaves and will turn to coal companies if he runs out of names.

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OUTSTANDING MOVE

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Y'all know what to do. Use Walton's naming system. Make it catch on.